The exact taste of lychee on your lips.
I kiss you,
like I’m kissing myself,
you are kissing me
as you kissing yourself.
This one energy that moves us
with the waves of the sea.
Under the candlelight,
the stars are moving madly!
I don’t know how to stop it!
I don’t want to stop it!
I’m feeling whole,
as our bodies connect.
We are making something new:
a burning power,
that has never been created before…
It was a regular day. I was setting in the beauty salon where I was doing my nails and my hair. I have decided to color my hair red. Not all of it! Just the tips. My mother was with me. But she left the salon sooner because she was doing just the nails. We also knew from the morning that my grandmother doesn’t feel so well. So my mother knew that my aunt would take my grandmother to the hospital. She was in a rash after doing the nails. She had driven with my father to the hospital. In the meantime, I was hoping that everything is ok. The time is passing by. My hair is becoming more and more red when suddenly my mom is calling me and telling me the harsh news, my grandmother is just died. This is a fact that I just needed to accept at the moment immediately. I knew that this is what my mother needs. She needs me now, and I need the power to be by her side. A few moments later, my father is calling me and telling me that he is at the way home to take my sister to the hospital and asking me if I will join them. And I say: “Of course” even that I know that the barber hasn’t finished the job, nor the manicurist. I knew in my mind that the time that will take to complete their task is longer than the time that it will take to my father to come over for me. Yet, I was optimistic. I told the women who were taking care of me to hurry up. They understood it, and started to cooperate to finish their job so I can go. Long story short, I found my self getting out from the Salone doors with my red hair. The interesting and the not very rational thing about all of it was when I touched my hair, I felt instant power, instant energy that was flowing from the top of my head, down to my body. This energy was helping me on my way to the hospital, this energy enabled me to accept and overcome the death of my beloved grandmother, and the most important thing is that: this energy helped me to support my mother in all of the sorrowing times. I felt like I was by her side as nobody else could be because nobody else had this power! And every time that I felt that my strength has weakened. I charged myself with a little bit of red. You probably think:” What is this crazy girl saying, If I want the power to overcome things and the ability to help others to do it should I color my hair in red or should I wear a red shirt all day long?
So no! This isn’t what I am saying. I say that, red color has helped me to find my power and my strength, but it was already there because the power was inside of me. The red is just the material thing the helped me to make it real in the physical world. The red is the tool to make a change in the world of others. The motive is the will power to do good and to help others. Think about it. What is your Motive? What are you willing to do to make a change in your life and at the life of others?
One of the biggest questions that I have been asking myself my whole life, and I think that it is one of the biggest questions that anyone can ask himself is: Who am I? It sound’s like a ridiculous question and you probably have a million ridiculous answers to it: What does it mean who am I? I am a person, I am a leaving beeing, but as you go own and think about it you are starting to realize that you don’t have a facking clue who you are! This is the exact thing that happened to me. When I fell into depression, the whole world that I knew before fulled apart. I lost myself, my wellbeing. It was like I am falling into this endless abyss and I can’t stop it and I don’t know what to do. The one thing that I knew is that I want to recover myself and that I want to feel good. Then, inside all the chaos that has been running into my head, I have found the only true power that no one can take from me and this is the power of my true will. When I began my prosses I didn’t know what will happen and how my life will change but I was ready to do everything that it takes to recover from my mental illness That wasn’t just depression. I also had delusions and a lot of pain in my body and in my brain. Only a person who had experienced it know how difficult it can be. It is almost unbearable! Most of the people that I know suffer from mental illness they whole life! But I have decided that it is not gonna be my case. I have decided to fight back. To deal with my brain, to deal with my Unconscious mind. When the psychiatrist wanted to give me pills to “help” me with my depression I refused to take any pills. Why?! Because Pills doing the work for you and if something or someone doing the work for you it always gonna be worse than you doing the work for yourself. Don’t try to find the easy way because it’s gonna beat you In the ass. It was harsh it was painful, I was going through hell but it was worse it! Why? Because I became a better person, a better version of myself. Now I can answer for myself the question that I began with, the question that I was questioning my whole life.
But think about it, Do you want to know who am I or do you want to know who you are? I can tell you the answer but you wouldn’t believe it cause you didn’t start the process, you don’t want enough to make a change in your life and to discover who you really are. But if these words did anything to you, so you are in the right way. Start with good thinking. start with the arise of your power of will!
If you are still thinking about my discovery of who I am I will tell you but it won’t make a difference if you didn’t feel this desire to explore yourself and your understanding of life. So here it is:
I am whole. I am part of the universe. I am a big power. I am energy. I am who I am. I am a god. You are a god. We are all god!
What if I tell you a secret? but you need to be open-minded to hear it… you can update your mind! you can update yourself to a better version of yourself. it’s not easy! I’m not gonna lie to you and sell you easy-cheap tricks. It was not easy for me but it is possible. it’s totally possible because it happened to me. It doesn’t matter if you are more realistic kind of person, if you are an atheist or if you are more spiritual kind of person, artistic one or more of a religious person. All this stuff doesn’t matter. the one important thing is that you need to understand that you can do it. the same way that you are plugging and charging your cellphone or your buttery. the same way that you are turning the light on, or the computer or any other device, you can turn on your system of self-improvement! its inside you. all you need is just this power, you need to shift your energy from off to on. you need to plug in this cable that called: The power of will. think about it. you know what? don’t think about it just do it!
In the last ten Months i had been through a very big experience that i want to share with you. My whole life I felt like my disire is to be a writer but I didn’t knew how to do it. And every time that an opportunity knoked on my door I refused to it because I felt like thers got to be another way that is better for me, But also because i was afraid and was blind to see it when it was always around me. Life put me through a very tough mental experience that leaded me to find my true power and evantully i developd the freedom that i was looking for my whole life. This freedom leeds me to love and leeds me to my pure Designation and this is to write and spread my love and passion throgh writing. I believe that if you free yourself from yourself you can by truly happy And blissful. When it happens Everyone around you will be happy and the world will be much better place.